I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Randomize
