I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
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