he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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