ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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