My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
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