I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
