Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
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