why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
