I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Randomize