All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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