I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
