Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize
