My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
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