Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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