I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Randomize
