Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Randomize
