No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
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