When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
how drunk are you?
Several
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
