is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
handjob tips. give me some.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
