Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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