Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Randomize
