her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
My life is pants optional.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
