I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize