I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize
