I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
