..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
