ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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