The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
me + whiskey = a bad person
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
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