Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
