Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
