im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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