1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
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