i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Randomize
