no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Randomize