I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
