I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Randomize
