I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
