I wish they made helmets for livers.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
