Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
