I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
