Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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