So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
