You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
