I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize