um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
