another moral hangover. fuck.
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
