fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Randomize