It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Randomize
