You're a womanizer and a bitch.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Randomize
