My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
