i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
I see more hoeing in ur future
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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