I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I got inside last night via doggy door
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
