Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
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We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
