dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
