I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
